You are ridiculous

Hello readers,

today was supposedly to be a good day for me but at the end, todays upset me. I'm supposed to enjoy my day cause i've finally finished my final exam but it turns out God has His own plan. I thought everything would just go well, turns out fun indeed wont last forever. I am still upset of myself for doing stupid mistakes that i think most people wouldn't have done it. It's my first time though. I don't know what gets into me to make this happen. This is probably not as big of a mistake as what you think but for someone, especially those who don't value you that much, they think it's a fatal mistake. It's probably not the first time, but sometime although it wasn't exactly my mistakes or even it was just a little small mistake (yes i can guarantee you that), that someone brings it up forever like the world is going to end because of that. Yes I was upset of myself but i am more upset with him whenever i think that we have close relationship. You could never forgive my small mistakes or whatever mistakes that I did. Did you know how sorry I was, how scared I am whenever I think I would upset you? I try my best to satisfy you, to make you proud, but whenever good things happen, you only think of my past mistakes, you never acknowledge that.You embarrassed me in front of people repeating my mistakes and blamed me for everything. Do you have any idea how hurt I was even now I am still hurt. I beg for your forgiveness, I say sorry as much as I could, expecting that you would forgive me but I guess that thought just never gotten into your mind. Have you had any idea to reflect on yourself too? Do you realize that whenever you did something wrong and yes you did quite a number of fatal mistakes more than mine or even worse, I never blame you? You never even say sorry for those. I forgive you easily but you took forever to just forgiving one mistakes. I wish I could hate you but I could never and yet you still treating me like criminal, abusing my rights to talk. 

Adults are ridiculous. Yes maybe I am immature but at least I have rational thinking and not being selfish. I always hope that you get the karma for treating me like this but whenever i thought you gonna suffer, I erased those thoughts. Anyway, I just hope that "heart" you have inside you make you open your eyes and aware of how people still being good to you although you treat them like shit.

fail english but i don't even care. Night.

Jenn♥